Thursday, March 4, 2010

Cause and Effect

It's been almost four months since I stepped through the door to my home after completing my walkabout, and I'm still not accustomed to 'normal' life. I can't sleep without the aid of medication and even when I do sleep, it's not that deep, restful sleep that I found beneath overpasses and in the bushes. I only sleep well while camping.

The headaches that plagued me for years before my trip have returned. I hadn't been home a week when they made their presence known and now I'm dealing with them on an almost daily basis. Sinus headaches, tensions headaches, headaches that have no cause at all. I wasn't meant to live like this.

I've become more of a minimalist. A few weeks ago I went on an overnight camping trip with some friends. Back in the day, my backpack weighed in at 40 lbs. for an overnight trip. This past trip, I brought an old daypack with a total of 5 lbs. of gear, and even then, I didn't need everything I packed. I can now go camping with only the gear that would fit in the pockets of my cargo pants. Everything else is just junk.

I'm also recycling things. Not paper and plastic, but containers. I'm so accustomed to using items over and over again, that when the peanut butter jar runs empty, I wash it out, dry it, and stick it in the cabinet without even realizing it. I have about a million jars. Some of them are now filled with my own homemade seasoning.

The idea of driving somewhere is still a bit strange. I don't like driving to Lake Charles without a very good reason. And if I get there and find out that I can't do what I set out to do, I have to find another reason to be there. I can't let the trip be wasted.

I've been neglecting this blog, and my writing in general. I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately, but that's changing. I banged out a few short stories recently, and I'm getting back into the swing of things in that department. Hopefully I can get back to where I was before the trip in short order. I have so much to write, and a short amount of time to write it in. I'll need to live a hundred years to get it all down.

Life is good. My head is clear and I know where I'm going and what I'm doing. I have direction and I no longer feel lost. I no longer feel as if my life is not my own. Walkabout fixed all of that.

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